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sarah weems

so this is basically what happened as i heard it from mark who heard it from Steve Weems. I might jumble some of this in terms of organization because it's pretty jumbled in my head.

I guess in the past couple of weeks or so, her mental state was becoming more and more unstable, probably stemming from a family history of bipolar disorder. Apparently Steve was good at grounding her and keeping her from flying off the handle too far when she had these sort of episodes.

It was in the past week that she started to seriously deterioriate, becoming paranoid and delusional and thinking that everyone was out to get her. One of our friends Eric either saw her or talked to her and he said that she was being completely irrational... thought that his family was trying to conspire against her.

anyway, the whole getting-the-car-stuck-in-the-mud thing happened, and it's possible that that might have triggered something... everyone was concerned about her, but no one thought she was going to kill herself. Her parents and Steve had talked to her and tried to get her to calm down. Later, i think her parents tried to call her again, but weren't able to reach her. They found someone in town to go to their place and put a note up on the door for Sarah saying, "We're worried... call us," and gave a few numbers to contact them.

They found that note later inside the apartment in addition to a suicide note to Steve. She killed herself because she felt like she was holding Steve back and that she was a burden to his life. She did it to spare him the responsibility of dealing with her. I think the last line she wrote in the note was, "I hope you have a beautiful life."

Steve is handling the whole thing pretty well, all things considered. He said that at some point on friday when he was about to play his gig, he had a sudden vibe coming from her that she was in a better place than she has been in a while, and they're conjecturing that friday night was when she actually did the deed.

No doubt it will hit him harder later, but at least right now it seems like while he's sad about it, he accepts it and is embracing it without strong feelings of guilt or "what if"?

on friday, they're going to have an informal party at their place to celebrate her life, mourn her passing, etc. The funeral is scheduled for April 3rd, the same day as NWMBC championships.

it's stll hitting us all pretty hard, but we're working through it. I think i might write a piece dedicated to her at some point. The Other Path is almost done - it needs maybe two or three hours more work, and then i'll be finished. I'm pretty happy with it. After that, i'm probably going to write the piece for Mark's band since that's started forming in my head already, and then i'll have to start thinking about the fall marching band, the perc ensemble piece, and maybe Kim's piece.

Comments

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jess2002far
Mar. 25th, 2004 09:34 pm (UTC)
sorry mendel... my thoughts are with you.

(hug)
( read spoken (1) — speak )

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