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it's not too bad to talk to mom on the phone when she just wants to chat. But if i let myself, i can get aggravated when i have to talk to mom on the phone when she has a Mission.

she has this sense of persistency that can be exhausting. She has this philosophy that if you aren't convinced of her main point, then repeating that main point in either the same way or a slightly different way might be able to convince you.

I wish i had a transcript of how our conversation went today about jobs, my future, whatever. it exemplifies how easily i can get aggravated by her single-mindedness.

I do have a good example from two years ago, though, and just because i'm in that kind of mood, i'm going to transfer it here. This is an entry from my Secret LJ that's now defunct. It's from may of 2002 (when i was still with Minna). I guess she was feeling the need for me to get married and have children.

Begin quote:

if i was in a snappier mood, i would have been pretty pissed off at the conversation. it exemplified a lot of what i don't like about my mom.


mom: so how are you and minna doing?

me: *non commital answer as always*

mom: you know, in certain cultures, they encourage cousins to marry each other because they don't want to allow outsiders.

me: *n.c.a.*

mom: and in the bible, issac was married to his cousin.

me: *n.c.a.*

mom: and recent studies have shown that cousin marriages aren't as dangerous as people thought before.

me: *frustrated enough to try to halt this* well, minna doesn't believe in marriage.

mom: oh... really? well... just so you know that it's not a bad thing. and recent studies have shown that cousins having kids...

me: *interrupting* well, minna doesn't want to have children, and i'm not sure if i do either.

mom: oh... really? well... what about adoption? i mean, these days...

me: *amazingly still keeping the light tone in my voice* minna doesn't want to have children.

mom: right, right, i got that, but raising a child...

me: no, see, it's not that minna doesn't want to give birth. she doesn't want to be a mother.

mom: oh... really? well... i mean, it's your decision, but i bet you two would have a wonderful child because you're so smart and she's so pretty.

my mom actually said that. what, so if i wasn't smart and she was ugly, we shouldn't have a kid? it's a good thing that i'm smart enough to give a kid smart genes.

</p> End quote </p>

today's conversation had that kind of aggravation to it. Maybe four or five times my mom tried to tell me why it wasn't a good idea to get a doctorate, that i should essentially quit my dream.

thank goddess for my dad. I know he's thinking exactly the same things as my mom... they're both worried, and they have reason to be. When he came on to the phone, i was all ready for him to barrage me with why i should try to find a steady job instead of staying in school, but he didn't do that. He said, "i'm sure i'll get the scoop from mom," and didn't talk about it at all. We talked about the weather and the yard work he's been doing, and that was it.

go dad.

*sigh* and mom wonders why i don't call more often.

anyway. enough ranting about parents. time for mendel to run his errands.


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March 2017