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looking in my LJ mirror

for a reason i decline to divulge, i've been looking at how i've been using my LJ recently, and i think i'm more self-conscious about it.

i think i still have some entries that i reguarly write that delve into my thought process, but there was a point early on in my LJ life (both in this journal and my private one) where a majority of my entries were about thoughts and depth, and hardly any of them had to do with... the humdrum of my daily life. But now, the proportion of thought entries vs. event entries these days seems to have flip-flopped, and i don't think i like it.

it's hard to juggle some of that in my mind, though. One of the reasons i started writing on a more regular basis about every day goings on is because i started developing this friends list audience that i know wants to know what's going on in my life, not just in my head.

a few friends on my friends list have separate journals for different reasons - a "writing" journal or a "video game/bemani accomplishment" journal or the like. Off and on i put some thought into doing that - creating other journals to subcategorize my life - but every time i started to put serious thought into it, i couldn't bring myself to actually do it. to do so would give me or anyone who reads my journal an even less clear picture of who I am - and for all of the daily humdrum entries i may have and the issues i have with them, i still believe that they contribute to people understanding me, if they have the patience and the mind to look at the big picture. I think that's why although sometimes i do skim over "this is what happened to me today" entries of other people, i still like to read them and get a sense of how those entries contribute to what i know of the person as a whole.

still, i think i should be less afraid to fill up my journal with longer-winding entries that get into my head just because i'm self-conscious about how my readers will react. i need to find the right balance, and maybe the beginning of my LJ history was tipped too far to one side while now it's tipped too far to the other.

the first line of that last paragraph is a significant one - one that i should expand upon, but i'm going to save it for another entry. I've got a bunch of errands to do today.

Comments

( read spoken (3) — speak )
ex_scorppoe
Apr. 21st, 2004 12:03 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean my friend, I know what you mean.
jenni9
Apr. 21st, 2004 02:12 pm (UTC)
I had actually created a "poetry/thoughts" type journal but I find that I rarely use it. It became more of a hassle so I just use my journal to write about whatever direction I feel like taking for the day.

I also had the same concerns about reader reactions and sometimes people DO get angry but overall I have found that the people on my friends list, even if they aren't the closest friends, understand where I'm coming from and don't create problems because of different opinions.

I guess I'm trying to say write what you want, people enjoy reading it.
kosmickalyx
Apr. 21st, 2004 07:52 pm (UTC)
It is your life and your journal can reflect that in whatever manner best suits the situation. I have 3 journals, it all works well for me that way, however sometimes I wish I didn't have any of them.

Write whatever it is you need to, if your readers don't like it they don't have to read it.

Reflections sometimes come after a period of only posting the mundane daily aspects of ones life, then patterns emerge and it can be very enlightening. . . .
( read spoken (3) — speak )

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