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Realizing what I did when i woke up this morning made me feel... not *too* angry, but angry enough that i felt the desire to be sexually aggressive. Not aggressive in the sense of making an unwanted advance, but aggressive in the sense of abandoning my usually submissive role in favor of taking control.

well, that's not entirely accurate. when i think of myself "in control", it conjures up a picture of the seductive side of me, the part of me that deliberately maniuplates my partner's sexual desires and sexual awareness, controlling its ebb and flow. Like... teasing the more innocent parts of her body for a good fifteen minutes before even coming close to touching her nipples.

The picture in my head this morning had more to do with... being the person who guided our mutual consent to abandon control. I just want to find someone of whom i know there is a mutual attraction and fuck her brains out. No seduction. no real foreplay... it's not necessary because there's already so much desire and lust and sexual tension that it's about to explode. I want to bring someone into my room, close and lock the door, rip our clothes off, throw her on the bed, pin her wrists above her head, and make her scream in pleasure over and over and over again.

i woke up too early this morning, and writing about all of this is making me feel a bit worse as opposed to better. i think i'm going to try to sleep a bit more, wake up in a half hour or maybe a bit more.

Comments

( read spoken (1) — speak )
ritalin_rikku
Jul. 3rd, 2004 03:36 pm (UTC)
This sounds so very very wrong, but the rough one sounds a lot more fun to me.
xD w007 for the pr0n icon.
( read spoken (1) — speak )

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