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anger.

warning. This is a Long Rant. It's not directed towards any one person in particular, but it *is* directed towards some specific people. i'm sorry. But enough is enough.

let me make my perspective on everything going on as clear as possible.

I made a few key mistakes in my relationship with Kim, things that contributed to her detaching herself from me. Things i regret to a degree, even if overall it ended in a way that's probably better for both of us. I take responsibility for my mistakes, and i've gained a lot of support from all of my friends everywhere.

Kim also made a lot of mistakes, things that I'm still really angry about. And while i am angry with her and it may take a long time for me to be able to forgive her if at all, there's no doubt in my mind that she loved me and still loves me, and there's no doubt in my mind that she is still a beautiful person.

The point is that no one is fucking perfect. People make mistakes, sometimes small ones, sometimes big ones. But just because those mistakes are made doesn't make them into a Bad Person.

Through all of the shit that Tyler has been going through these days, I can confidently say that i understand more than most people what the situation is, what Tyler is going through, and what he's feeling. And even so, i don't pretend to come *close* to having full comprehension of those feelings. Certainly I have my opinions - i may see certain things that make me frown or worry, i may even see things that i feel are mistakes, but in no way do i let those things cast judgement on Tyler's *character*.

Right now it seems like a lot of people are taking what little hints and clues and information they *think* they have and they're either a) filling in the rest of the picture with incorrect information and then casting a judgement based on the picture they created, or b) looking at the incomplete picture and determining that's all they need to see in order to make a fair judgement.

The thing is, no one... and i mean NO ONE knows what's really been going on, and thus no one has any fucking right to treat their suppositions and their opinions as Absolutely Correct. (more on this later.)

Tyler has made some mistakes. He knows that. I know that. But i still believe that he's one of the best fucking people i know. And as much as i do my best to respect the right other people have of their opinions, i will defend my belief and challenge anyone to be able to change my mind for as long as i live.

Allow me to state in a clear and unwavering voice the following statement:

Tyler and Michele are *not* currently a couple. Whether or not they become a couple in the future is not something that anyone knows nor should anyone make assumptions about or gossip about. It's unavoidable that people will have opinions about whether or not it's a good idea, but Tyler deserves the respect to figure that out for himself, to be guided if he asks but not to be *directed*.

This has been a particularly Loud Example of recent drama, but there has been a lot of other drama happening in the DDR community as of late, and it's been bothering me that people are quick to jump to conclusions or quick to provide answers that don't address the issues.

Yes, there's a lot to worry about the fact that Kim and Travis have broken up and gotten back together a lot of times. And i might have my opinions about that, but i'm not going to suppose that my opinions about that are correct even if they are likely.

Yes, Carl has issues with intimacy and relationships and such. Just because there might be a solution to those sorts of issues that worked for person A does not mean that it would work for Carl.

And SO ON. I mean, I could point to so many people and say, "here's a problem." Mer, Naima, Josh, Jason, Miranda, Travis, Scott, Michele, Kim, Angelo, Eesha, K-Dash, this that and the other person - this big web of soap opera reality TV worthy stuff going on everywhere.

Therefore, as much as it's not in my character to express myself so directly, i am now stating that i think everyone needs to mind their own fucking business and deal with their own shit. Or at least if they're going to poke their way into other people's business, do it in a way that isn't so intrusive - in a way that still respects the other person's character and their privacy, which for some reason seems to have been lacking as of late.

oh, and being in a relationship, even a happy one, is *not* always better than being single, even if depressed.

okay. i'm done now. *waits for flamed responses*

Comments

( read spoken (10) — speak )
specter_13
Jul. 23rd, 2004 02:05 am (UTC)
Here here, good post. I try to live by words like that but I am not always successful.
hellomrhieu
Jul. 23rd, 2004 02:47 am (UTC)
Well put. I don't necessarily know what the heck is happening in the community, but your words make so much sense and fits nicely.

The tide is rising on my boots and I didn't even know it.

I have one comment that is neutral, but may create a new flurry of debate. +10 pts of respect for Mendel.
toastercookie
Jul. 23rd, 2004 08:47 am (UTC)
yay good post.. i feel the same way about alot of that stuff
ex_ilovetheb284
Jul. 23rd, 2004 09:33 am (UTC)
Break ups aren't soap opera...they're reality. This shouldn't even be discussed, just makes things worse. I don't know what's going on with everyone else (didn't know people were even talking about this), but don't write off what I personally went through as soap opera. I don't want my name mentioned or publicized in regards to this situation ever again. I think I deserve the respect to feel how I feel without a handful of people I don't even know getting involved too.

I love you Mendel and think you're great, but this is how I feel. Just everyone take a deep breath. Life is too short for this kind of bullshit.
c_wraith
Jul. 23rd, 2004 11:34 am (UTC)
Err? People are actually worried about me, and talking about it?

Umm... Ok. I suppose that's kind of flattering, really. I just said what I needed to to get through the slump I was in. I don't know why anyone other than me should put energy into dealing with my problems. They aren't permanent, and they're the kind of thing it will only take one good relationship to completely eliminate.

I appreciate the good advice and kinds words I got. But I'm done worrying about all that until &emdash; oh, say &emdash; Valentine's day. And I expect enough to change by then that any additional thought put into it now won't really be applicable then.

To all those worried about me... There are people with far worse issues than I've got, who need a lot more support than I do. Help those other people out. I'm ok.
c_wraith
Jul. 23rd, 2004 11:35 am (UTC)
Gah... HTML formatting works, but HTML entities don't? That's annoying.
c_wraith
Jul. 23rd, 2004 12:03 pm (UTC)
Allow me amend this slightly.

Your help isn't necessary. But if you happen to know of someone who's actually old enough for me, and at least mildly interested, I'd like to know.

:)

(Just in a happy mood at the moment. :)
fyretygr3497
Jul. 23rd, 2004 03:26 pm (UTC)
I, being the unknown recluse that I an, wasn't even aware of the fact all of this was going on, aside from, of course, my own bullshit. However, based SOLELY on what I just read here, and I'm not going to assume that's anything more than your personal opinion on the situation, Mendel, I have to say I agree with your statement that aeveryone should just mind their own fucking business. BUT, because I have a (relatively) outside perspective on this, try to bear in mind that a) people, being what we are, are natuarally curious and b)oftentimes, when one first hears of a conflict, issue, whatever w/in someone's life, especailly that of one of their close friends, its almost natural to block out anyone but that friend's version of events, even to the point of ignoring most of the story. That being said, as badly as it was (hey, I know what I meant) I'll leave you with this- I'm pretty surprised my name found its way into this post- is it just cause I've been venting to you lately, or are people down there actually talking about me? My bet is on the first one, since I doubt anyone really remembers me from my one visit, lol.
lifeofmendel
Jul. 23rd, 2004 08:07 pm (UTC)
first one. :)

miss me tomorrow.

we'll get together and hang out one of these days.
foxtr841
Jul. 25th, 2004 05:43 pm (UTC)
This is the only rant of your's I've read that didn't do anything to me.

Wanna know why?

You can't stop people from doing that. People agree, yes, I agree with you, yes, everyone who posted before me agrees with you, yes. No one will stop doing it, though.

People do that. You can tell them what to think, you can't tell us what to make out of anything. If a person thinks one thing about someone and you specifically know that it isn't true, then tell them that. If they say something that you don't agree with or you don't think should have been said, then don't say anything. Don't even reply with whatever you've said to me so many times, because that doesn't do a thing for anyone.

You have placed yourself in, majority, a teenage crowd. You're about 13 years older than all of us. You have experienced and grown a lot more than we have. You have to understand that we don't think the way you do, no matter how mature or smart some of us may seem. We're still learning. You can't get mad at us for doing fucking stupid things like that in life. It's not really an important topic anyway -it's just people getting into other people's business. Now, if those people want them out, then they can get them out.

We have our own minds, our own way of thinking, I don't see why you need to get so upset over this. It's stupid, it's high-school level. You're older than that.
( read spoken (10) — speak )

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