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jay ess bee

it was odd to finally see, then meet, then vaguely interact with jsb while i was in vegas. the impression i was left with was that he's the kind of guy who a few years ago was so insecure about his small cock size that he went to an adult store, bought a carefully-picked dildo that matched his skin color as closely as possible, attached it to himself with a lot of flesh-colored tape and other whatnot to pretend that that was his actual cock size instead of his real one, and has since then forgotten that he's done that so now he thinks it's real and resultingly is conflicted because it sure does make him look all masculine and awesome like, but it doesn't have a lot of substance or sensation and he doesn't understand why he can never successfully jerk off or why his pants end up getting wet when he tries to pee.

i'll grant, however, that i have a biased opinion, and maybe he's not as bad as all that. i'm open to the idea that it's an inaccurate representation of his personality. But it's still difficult to take him really seriously when all i can think of when i see him is precious White Goodman moments like the line "nobody makes me bleed my own blood!" or that ridiculous painting of him "taking the bull by the horns".

Comments

( read spoken (19) — speak )
c_wraith
Jan. 18th, 2006 08:49 pm (UTC)
That might be the strangest analogy I've ever read.
slowigo
Jan. 18th, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC)
That's hilarious.
toastercookie
Jan. 18th, 2006 08:58 pm (UTC)
This is the best LJ entry you've ever written hahahaha.
piratepower
Jan. 18th, 2006 09:37 pm (UTC)
I totally agree with you. I found it really ironic that he still claims to be an important figure, yet he had nothing better to do than to fly to Las Vegas to ridicule the players there - on a game he can't even play anymore, and then spent the rest of the time trying to score with that girl with the pink hair that Mike brought.
dr4b
Jan. 18th, 2006 10:47 pm (UTC)
I'm way out of the loop these days, but what happened to JSB that he can't play anymore?

I only met him once, at the Bemani By The Bay tournament in SF almost three years ago, but I would agree with Mendel's assessment of him from what I recall :)
lifeofmendel
Jan. 18th, 2006 10:49 pm (UTC)
he just retired from playing once the ddr scene died. never got too into the whole itg thing.
caffymajin
Jan. 18th, 2006 09:57 pm (UTC)
Mendel, this is definitely top 3 funniest posts I've ever read lol..Poker this Sunday evening?
lifeofmendel
Jan. 18th, 2006 10:04 pm (UTC)
sunday might be rough since i have work the next day. what's your whole schedule? could you do it saturday?
caffymajin
Jan. 18th, 2006 10:55 pm (UTC)
I'm coming down Sunday morning since Dan is going to be there and we're all leaving Eugene sometime on Monday.
lifeofmendel
Jan. 18th, 2006 11:19 pm (UTC)
we'll see what happens. i can't make any promises, but i might be able to pull something. sunday afternoon would be better, though, and i'm not entirely sure where. our place isn't even close to unpacked right now, so we might have to go out to tyler's, or maybe sneak a game in at the EMU.
hellomrhieu
Jan. 19th, 2006 01:38 am (UTC)
unheard of!
caffymajin
Jan. 19th, 2006 04:06 am (UTC)
You'd better be around too..Dan and I miss you
hellomrhieu
Jan. 19th, 2006 04:34 am (UTC)
I'll try. I'll be out of town until Sunday, but I'm not sure what time I'll be in.
fatass_mcgee
Jan. 19th, 2006 12:08 am (UTC)
god bless you, mendel. i think i just peed my pants.
foxtr841
Jan. 19th, 2006 01:09 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA
purpleorb
Jan. 19th, 2006 04:52 am (UTC)
excellent, excellent analogy, mendel. pure comic gold. GOLD I SAY!
tyco
Jan. 20th, 2006 05:55 am (UTC)
agreed.
boho_croissant
Jan. 20th, 2006 07:30 pm (UTC)
i don't think you're being that quick to judge. i refuse to give an explicit opinion, but my brother wasn't shy. "that guy looks like a total loser." --Joe.
shandrew
Jan. 28th, 2006 09:08 pm (UTC)
This is hilarious. I first read this guy's messages a few years ago on some LJ DDR community, as he told some DDR newbie that they'd never get anywhere and make money winning DDR tournaments like him if they played DDR at home. Except he said that in a more arrogant, obnoxious way.

I figured he was some 12-year old trying to defame someone relatively famous in the DDR world. I guess that was really him...
( read spoken (19) — speak )

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