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transitions

there are people out there that work towards goals that dream of what they want and (if it's a reasonable dream) they work their way to achieve the ultimate goal of being happy or rich or successful or whatever. They set up landmarks goals to lead them closer to that ultimate goal. All the stuff in between is transition that they don't pay attention to or don't like because it's not their landmark, it's the journey between the landmarks, where they have to wait in line or drive for so long or sit through this dumb class to get their degree that will get them a job.... etc.

then there's someone like me. I have goals, no doubt, but i don't consider the stuff in between to be any less important than the goals. The journey, the transition is its own sort of goal, its own sort of special experience that i open my senses to as wide as i can.

tomorrow i sign a rental agreement on a new place to live, another step towards a transition of my new life, my new direction that doesn't completely abandon my old, just steers it in a slightly different direction.

and in about a week and a half, this place - *our* home - will be a difficult but ultimately pleasant memory, one that i'll hold sacred as representing one of the more fulfilling times of my life.

i still look at the places where things used to be and feel a twinge of sadness. Things that felt so permanent now seem so easily changed, taken away leaving emptyness.

But that's a part of transition, part of what makes the journeys worthwhile. and honestly - there's nothing at all like it.

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Comments

( read spoken (9) — speak )
lacoste38
Jan. 21st, 2007 10:52 am (UTC)
man, it's SO true. Are you staying in the same area of Eugene?
lifeofmendel
Jan. 22nd, 2007 07:44 pm (UTC)
west eugene now, right before chambers. i'll be posting pics soon. :)
purple_thread
Jan. 21st, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC)
I wrote something similar to this when I left WV for Australia, and I wrote something much darker when I was on my way home.

The way you handle things always leaves me in awe.

Sometimes I'd wish you'd just...totally freak out and lose it. Not because I wish you strife. You just always handle everything with such wisdom and strength.

Thinking of you.
Much love.

and ...a mongoose.
lifeofmendel
Jan. 22nd, 2007 07:47 pm (UTC)
*laughs*

how you may perceive i handle things via my LJ may not be the best indicator for how i actually handle things.

trust me - about this, i lost it at some point. i'm still fragile about it, even more so now that it's my turn to move out of the place.

and honestly - only tip of the iceberg.

but i'm not one to show all of my weaknesses on LJ, at least not these days. And i'm much stronger about it all since the breakup between me and kim. go back to LJ entries from *that* time period, and maybe you'll be comforted by my lack of wisdom regarding that stuff. :)
edrake
Jan. 21st, 2007 07:55 pm (UTC)
need details of new place of residence. and a tattoo consult. pronto. :)

(and let us know if you need some assistance moving and all.)


:loves:
miss_skillet
Jan. 22nd, 2007 12:39 am (UTC)
Goal-oriented people seem so much happier through such tedious things for so long that it almost seems really adaptive for them. They can slog through a dull job for 10 years to get promoted and it's worth it, or waste all their time looking good to attract a husband and have that family they want or whatever. I sort of envy them in the one-minded ability to focus in the hopes of delayed gratification. I get too bored and/or disillusioned way too fast to ever plod away at things the way they do :/

I love your thought-provoking posts, mendel :)
lifeofmendel
Jan. 22nd, 2007 07:50 pm (UTC)
you're a sweetie. :) how are things with you these days relationship wise anyway? you should drop me an email or something.
miss_skillet
Jan. 22nd, 2007 08:27 pm (UTC)
Do you actually check "darknote@livejournal.com" or is it something else?
lifeofmendel
Jan. 22nd, 2007 08:35 pm (UTC)
that'll route to the mail i check all the time. feel free to use it.
( read spoken (9) — speak )

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