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countdown.

somewhere in the past few months, i've known that my days here in eugene/springfield have been numbered, but hanging out with kate before she moved to hawaii helped... my awareness of it.

like, even if the number of days i have left in eugene are something like 730, i can feel the clock ticking. and it's possible that the clock is ticking even less than i thought.

i think the other thing that has brought this to the forefront and makes me more conscious of it all is the fact that whereas before i had pretty much rejected the idea of moving back to the east coast unless i went to Bowling Green to pursue my doctorate, i am now much more open to the idea of moving back to the east coast in general and reopening the connections i have with the marching band and drum corps scene there as either a full time or freelance gig. i've started writing music again on the side, but it's slow-going not just because of everything else going on in my life, but also beacuse i don't feel like i have a context for music here anymore, not really.

that being said, the only way i can see myself doing it any time less than 730 days is with a decent degree of financial security or at least financial direction which means getting a steady stream of work and/or commission-like stuff and/or getting a TA or RA with my doctoral program so i don't have to take out loans. Right now i'm still trying to stabilize what was the most financially tumultuous period of my life, and honestly, i do like my corporate job, and i'm supposed to get a good pay bump in october, so i don't have any sense of urgency.

it'd be nice to respark some of the connections that i had before and see if i can't get my foot in the door early, even if it means writing some sort of flute/clarinet duet for free for someone's winter or spring concert or writing someone's accent-to-tap for fall or whatever. i'm not sure where the best place to start for that is, but i'm adding the probing of that sort of thing to my list of to-do this week.

this isn't to say that i still don't have a desire to move to northern CA or Australia to see how i would fare in those places, but northern CA doesn't feel quite as strong or urgent as it was a few months ago for lots of various reasons.

whatever it is that will happen... i feel it. the momementum. it's exhilarating and is a decent distraction for that which is not so pleasant in my life at the moment.

Comments

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miss_skillet
Jul. 9th, 2007 04:06 pm (UTC)
Norcal has it's ups and downs. I don't recommend it unless you have compelling reason.
eversorachel
Sep. 19th, 2007 02:06 am (UTC)
Hello. You.
lifeofmendel
Sep. 19th, 2007 03:19 am (UTC)
peekaboo. :)
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