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unsettled

it seems like it's been a while since i've written anything substantial in here. august is always a busy time

i feel unsettled. two nights in a row now i've felt like this. Last night i dealt with it by creating a more compact DDR records spreadsheet in Excel. Tonight i don't know how i want to deal with it. i'm too... *something* to actually do anything. frustrated, maybe. depressed, maybe.

I gave a typical Mendel speech today at the marching band rehearsal - the stuff of life. People in the band who have good memories know that I use marching as a form of therapy and/or focus. It's a way to leave the rest of life behind and only have to concentrate on the task at hand. No bills to pay, no issues to sort out, no feelings to be had - it's just me with a drum on, or it's me on the box, teaching, listening, correcting, inspiring.

video games do the same thing. so does playing pool, which i've written about. And so does playing DDR, which i've also written about, but i'll be damned if i can find that entry right now.

It's odd how i'll play DDR or pool or video games differently in various contexts - a competitive context, a casual context, a social context, a solitary context - but when i'm on the marching band field, there's only one context. The work ethic context. The desire to get something done and work to get it done correct 100% of the time.

la la la. unsettled still. kind of want to play DDR, but i'm too tired. and i really *should* go to bed soon. too bad Stepmania is only compatible with OS X.

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