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i can't sleep.

a majority of the past few weeks has been me taking naps after work, getting up at some point later in the evening, and then going back to sleep around 3am or so before having to get up for work.

today i slept from about 19.30 until 21.00, so taken out of context, me being awake doesn't seem unusual. but there's a difference this time around - i can't sleep not because i'm not tired, i can't sleep because of my strong degree of empathy.

earlier i was trying to trace back exactly when i developed the high degree of empathy i have. i had an inkling of it in high school, maybe, but i don't think it developed fully until i started teaching and had to hone my skills of communicating and meaningfully reaching my kids.

i have no regrets about having the degree of empathy i have for people in general. i accept that at times like this, i have to take the bad with the good, have to accept that the degree of negative resonance that i feel for people who i love and cherish can affect me so greatly that it can keep me up at night, particularly when the situation at hand parallels a situation that is occuring or has occured in my own life. because on the flip side of it, when the high degree of resonance is positive and inspiring, it's one of the most amazing feelings i can ever experience.

at least i have stuff i can do. hopefully it won't take me much more than an hour to do.

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Comments

( read spoken (2) — speak )
edrake
May. 16th, 2008 04:38 pm (UTC)
<3
lifeofmendel
May. 16th, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
always here for you, my promise. no amount of time, distance, or circumstance will break what we have, you and i.
( read spoken (2) — speak )

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