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packing

it's late, but i just wanted to say this because it's stuck out to me a lot in my moving.

i have a habit of putting up sentimental objects around my living space. Things that other people might not recognize as sentimental, but they are. They're meant to be a gentle presence, things that when i glance at them, they subconsciously remind me of how that time or that person is or was an important part of my life.

whenever i have to pack to move, i have to pack and move those sentimental things, and by doing that, it takes them out of the subliminal background into a very sharp foreground. Take down this windchime, bring back the flood of memories. Take down this card, bring back a different set of memories. Remove this poster, pack up that small stone, box up this set of books, remove that latch - it all becomes a whirlwind of what was and what it's turned into.

thus, moving is always an emotional thing for me.

one might argue, resultingly, that maybe i shouldn't have those things up at all, that to have them is a dwelling of the past, which for most people who know me know that i generally don't like to do.

but when i have them up, scattered in random pockets of my senses, they're not there to be dwelled upon; they're there as a means of tracking my past, reminding me of where i was and how i got to where i am and who got me there. it's a way to reflect in some way whether fondly or sadly or whatever how those forces in my life have led me to be the person that i am proud to be today. and unlike pictures which are explicit, these are more intimate, secret. No one could know that the carl's jr. cookie label that stuck on the passenger side air bag of my car would have sentimental value, remind me of so many years ago. No one could easily understand what that pack of viola candy means to me, or what that card really means to me or what that picture is really saying.

so i take the bad with the good. because i generally am not moving that often, bringing all of that emotional whatever to the foreground is a small price to pay for retaining the importance and significance of my past while i look confidently into the future.

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Comments

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sleeplessone
Jul. 13th, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
It was the same way when I was packing my Vancouver apartment.


P.S. You are more than welcome to store your machine at Laurel and my new apartment if you still need to.
lifeofmendel
Jul. 13th, 2008 06:07 pm (UTC)
i may do that. i haven't had the motivation to talk to the people up in portland who could house it, and it's not the most important detail right now. i may let you guys hold on to it at least for a little while and then figure out what i want to do with it more permanently once i'm settled in NO. (which could be still letting you hold on to it.)
hoobyj
Jul. 14th, 2008 04:47 am (UTC)
Moving induced nostalgia is awesome.

I could totally store that machine for you, I would even pay rent xD
miss_skillet
Jul. 15th, 2008 01:20 am (UTC)
I hate that teary nostalgia. The second wave is when you arrive at your destination, and have to unpack. This usually takes a few weeks/months for me as I get situated, so it becomes a long, drawn-out thing as I rediscover things every time I open something or organize it. It's hard.
( read spoken (4) — speak )

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