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early morning ramblings

mallory woke me up after only a couple of hours of sleep because her general reaction to lightning and thunder is to burrow herself underneath the blanket where i'm sleeping. i decided that it's been a while since it's thunderstormed here and i'm awake enough that i'd come outside onto my porch and watch and feel the storm for a little while, so here i am.

a couple of weeks ago it hit me that i've been living in new orleans for over six months. a whole school year has almost come and gone. it's a very odd thing to me because i still don't feel like i live here, especially since i can make some sort of correlation between my job and drum corps, as in this kind of feels like an extended drum corps tour and any moment now i'll be going back home to eugene oregon, getting ready to go back to work at symantec, gearing up for the next set of reports and the next quarter end.

in the time i've been down here, i've worked a marching band season and a mardi gras season with tulane and a marching band season and a winter drumline season with Destrehan, and although i strated out somewhat rusty since it's been a few years, i know that i've made a good positive contribution and impact to those groups which is immensely rewarding to me. it's good to be back in this element, one that feels more natural and instinctive and can help drive, motivate, and push me to be a better teacher, a better musician, and a better person.

one of the more disappointing things i'm still trying to deal with is putting more energy into creative works that are of my own design and deadline, something i've never been good at; there are a few compositions that i have in my head and have sketchwork on paper that haven't matured or developed because i don't have a hard deadline on them. One of the reasons i gave myself a lent limitation of "one hour of casual computing" was so that i could use that time to do more constructive projects. Because i'm not so literal when it comes to things like lent i haven't always followed that one hour paradigm, but what it has done is shifted my attitude to try to be more productive with my time. But some of that productivity feels like fluff as opposed to actual productivity; most of the projects that i've occupied my tiem with is miscellaneous video projects to put on youtube; i haven't written a lick of new music into the computer since lent other than what i have to do for work, and especially having recently reconnected with Chris Hanning at West Chester and also knowing that Ralph is now a professor of percussion there, it feels like i'm not really tapping my potential connections and trying to further my career as a composer.

one thing that may help is the discovery that the electronic music professor here offers a course in custom electronic music instrument building and he is pretty heavy into live performance with electronics. Understanding some of the physical mechanics of electornic instruments with microswitches and sensors and what not is definitely a gap in my understanding of electronic music, and the context of a class is the sort of thing that i think will help me push forward some of my creative ideas and maybe help spin me into some sort of schedule that i can make into my creative space. I've tried doing this before, calling friday and saturday my poker day, thursday my ddr/itg day, wednesday my composition or project day. poker is the most consistent thing that i have put into my routine because of my passion for it and the social aspects of it; composition has not come forward at all.

we'll see if i can figure something out. When the drumline season ends this weekend, i can try to use that as a personal push to therefore replace that with compositional projects in addition to other sorts of maintenance things that i've been putting off, such as actually getting my own internet, going to the dentist, upkeep of the car, those sort of life things. I can also use the fact that i want to get a new computer with my Destrehan money as another jumpstart to being more musically productive as well, try to see if i can't crank out that percussion duet that's been in the works over the summer before i have to worry too much about next year's Tulane stuff.

we'll see. honestly... if that stuff *doesn't* get done, it's not like i'm failing; i have a lot on my plate right now and i'm pretty hapyy with what it is that i have on my plate and how tihngs are going, and in reality the time that i waste isn't much more than what i know other people do. but it would still be nice to feel like i'm moving in at least a few more directions at the same time as opposed to the two or three that i'm trying to keep track of right now. maybe that's overambitious, but that's okay; if it doesn't happen, i'm still fairly content.

wow; heavy rainfall makes it pretty easy to ramble. i have no idea what it is i've written down here.

or maybe it's because i'm pretty tired too. that could be a clue that i should go back inside and try to sleep some more.

yesterday i went to the store and ben and jerry's ice cream was on sale, and the only flavors they had available had chocolate in them. that sucked.

Comments

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nots2good
Mar. 26th, 2009 09:51 pm (UTC)
fwiw
I did find the setting of a deadline helps me get more done. I've been floundering on getting some personal projects going this year I set myself a year's worth of goals, in different areas of my life, and picked a bunch to do for 1Q. It has paid of REALLY well. It lets me choose what goals I want to prioritize and focus on, and I don't feel bad about not paying attention since I know I can do them next quarter. (or month or whatever).

It helped me get extremely effective, and I got a ton of work and personal projects done including a new webpage and my first iphone app.
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