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lappy video conferencing

i have a vague memory when i was a teenager of having a habit of not looking or facing directly at the person that i was talking to when i was involved in deep conversation with them. The clearest memory of this is one time when my brother and i were talking and he kept on shifting around to try to put his body in front of me while he was talking to me and i kept on rotating my head or something to put his body out of my vision. i think the biggest reason i did that was because at the time i wanted to be sure i focused on the words that were being said more than the person that was saying them, and looking at them felt too distracting.

earlier today i did a test run of a skype video conference on a macbook pro using the camera that exists on the macbook, and it was strange, because if i want to look at the person on the other side, i'm not "looking" directly at them in the context of where the camera is, but if i look directly at the camera then i can't see them at all. This was when the laptop was kind of close to my body; i imagine that i could fix the issue if i sat/stood farther away, which i'll probably do, but it was an interesting experience to try to figure out how to both or to realize that now, eye contact and a general visual aesthetic are much more important to me when it comes to communication than it ever used to be, at least in some sense.

i'm fricking hungry, but i don't have time to get food right now since the Real Skype video conference deal is supposed to happen in 25 minutes. thems the breaks.

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