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it was an odd morning.

i think i used to handle physical exhaustion better. all of those years of drum corps gave me good chops to be alert after having 12 hour exercise days.

i woke up once at 09:30 or so, and i could have gotten up, but i decided to go back to sleep instead. i'm not sure why. maybe my body was telling me i needed it, but i think i could have been okay either way.

i woke up again around noon, and i was lying in bed, and i thought about the stuff i needed to and wanted to get done today. And for the first time in my life (or maybe second... rare in any case), i had an instinct to not get up. I just wanted to lie in bed and take the day off, shut everything out.

i'm not too worried about it. i don't think i'll have that sensation too often. but it was an interesting feeling, and one that i know that some people feel every single day, and much stronger.

I think that that knowledge distresses me. It makes me want to fix it. Find those people, give them a reason to have those sort of feelings relax. No one should have to live with that sort of sensation every day of their life.

In my life, i've helped deter at least three people from commiting suicide. and i've helped a lot of people feel happier, helped them get through small or big problems. students, peers, and friends. More than once, people have told me that i should consider becoming a psychologist for all the work i do for people, but i don't know if i'd feel comfortable charging people. it's something i do for the people i care about, you know? for people that i consider friend, i would do no less.

for strangers or casual acquaintances, it's trickier, but i always look at anyone and everyone and think, "that person could be me." so sometimes it's hard for me not to reach out to those people too.

tv is distracting me. i hope this entry makes sense.


( read spoken (1) — speak )
Feb. 23rd, 2004 10:16 pm (UTC)
I know that feeling about wanting to stay in bed, I really like it, some days I feel like sleeping all day long.
( read spoken (1) — speak )


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March 2017