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an otter/rhino survey

just for fun.

1) If you had to be slave to any superhero, which superhero would you be slave to?

Batman. A super strong, super genius who has a dark cave with lots of toys. sexy.

2) If you had to be fed one food by a Hollywood celebrity for the rest of your life, which celebrity and what food would you choose?

a good chicken curry. i don't know who. maybe that guy who hosts oliver's twist.

3) If you could only eat one breakfast cereal for the rest of your life, which breakfast cereal would you choose? (none of that variety pack shit is allowed. one cereal)

Frosted Mini-wheats.

4) If you could have any cartoon character as a pet, which cartoon character would it be? (must be some sort of animal-type creature. no humans or humanoids.)

[kuroneko-sama], hands down.

5) What do your salt and pepper shakers look like?

i don't own any.

6) What would you do for a Klondike bar if it gave you an orgasm?

it really depends on the kind of orgasm and the quality. If it's comparable to other kinds of orgasms, i'd just as do one of those things as opposed to have it result from a Klondike bar.

7) If you had to be a nut, what sort of nut would you be?

i think i'd be a cashew. it sticks out to be as being unique in texture, flavor, and shape.

8) If you had to be a child's toy, what toy would you be?

an old school transformer.

9) If your job were a board game, what board game would you want it to be?

does "Simon" count?

10) If your wardrobe were from only one decade for the rest of your life, which decade would you choose?

maybe the current one.

11) If you had to be a WWE wrestler, what name would you choose and what would your gimmick be (mask, make up, or leotards, etc.)

i'd have to do more research on wrestlers. oddly enough, the image that pops in my head is [the Riddler]. i know he's not a wrestler.

12) If your employer were to construct a suit of power armor to help you in your job, what features would it have?

the most important thing it would have to do is allow me to sit upright with my legs stretched out in front of me without causing stress to my back.

13) What home video game system have you spent the most time playing?

the PS2, NES, and Colecovision

14) How many locks do you have that you cannot lock or unlock?

none anymore. there might be a few in storage in PA.

15) If you had to be a different color, what color would you be?

suddenly i have an image of an old bloom county cartoon featuring the crayola crayon "flesh".

i dunno. dark purple maybe.

16) What cartoon would you least like to find yourself in the middle of?

heh. south park in an orange jumpsuit.

17) Which would you rather be: a toothpick, or a four-leaf clover smashed into a book

a toothpick. no question.

18) Which cartoon villian would you most like to be your arch nemesis? least like?

most... sinestro. least... "the word' guy, because then i'd have to hear the word much more often than i care to.

19) If you had to live with a former child star for the next year, which former child star would you choose?

haley joel osment.

20) What video game level would you least like to be stuck in for the rest of your life? most like? as the hero or the villian?

least - world 7 of super mario 3. that level was frelling tricky. most - any level of Super Pac Man since that whole game was about eating food, not eating pellets.

21) What super power would you most like your spouse to have? least like to have?

i'd let my spouse have whatever super powers she wanted.

22) If you could only exist for one day, what day would you choose?

this is difficult to conceptualize, particularly in my current fragile state of mind, so i'm going to pass on this question.

23) Would you rather be a smurf, a snork, or a fraggle?

a fraggle.

24) If you had to graffiti one famous work of art, which artwork would you choose, and what would you do to it?

oh i dunno. maybe i'd give the mona lisa a blonde streak.

25) If you had to run naked in front of a national monument, which one would you choose to be seen nude in front of?

gee. white house, maybe?

26) You are a mouse in a room full of hungry cats. There is no escape. You can have one superpower. Which superpower do you want?

the ability to say "vroom!" and have a toy motorcyle run whilst wearing a ping-pong ball helmet. ten points for anyone who gets this reference.

27) There is only one picture taken of you during your entire life. How do you pose and what is the setting?

when i was still with rebec', we spent some time making cookies with her family. one of the cookies i made was a cookie with a "42" on it. i was even more camera shy then than i am now, but they did take a picture of just my hand holding the cookie while i was ducked behind the table. It's one of my favorite pictures, and it'd be cool if that was the one.

28) For the rest of your life you can only eat with one kitchen utensil. Fork, spoon, or knife?


29) If you were a t-shirt with a clever saying, what would your clever saying be?

ooooh. suddenly my old "Rubbermaid" quote comes to mind, but i forget what the exact quote was. i think it was "Random violence against trash cans can be easily remedied by Rubbermaid."

30) Can you write holding the pencil between your toes?

i've never tried.

31) Which is worse: tv reality shows or teenage chat rooms?

tv reality shows.

32) If you were forced to eat yourself sick on one kind of food, what food would it be?

maybe a really good burger or steak.

33) If you were alone in a room with a penguin, and nobody would find out, would you molest it?*


34) Do you prefer lotioned or non-lotioned facial tissue?


35) Are you gonna eat that?

not if you're hungrier.

36) If you were a pez dispenser, what would you want to look like?

witch hunter robin, complete with sticking out ponytails and glasses.

37) If you were a calendar, what sort of calendar would you be?

perhaps a fox trot calendar, or a calendar with a logic puzzle per day.

38) You create a set of collectible cards. Describe them.

it's all about shapes, perspective, and shading.

39) Did it hurt?

i'm impervious to pain.

40) Where were you last night?

i withdrew into my mind to protect myself.

41) If you had to live in a box, what would you want in there with you?

staff paper and a pencil.

42) If you had to substitute all the characters of a movie or tv show with some type of animal, what show/movie would it be and what animals would you use?

sheesh. ummm...

i have this image of "Vanya on 42nd street" where the "actors" are animals when they're performing the play, but are real people when they're talking about it inbetween scenes.

43) What movie cast would you like to see replaced with all porn stars?

oh i don't know. context and personality is such an important thing. It'd depend on the movie, and it would depend on the acting personality of the porn stars. i don't want to assume that all porn stars are the same.

44) Who do you think would win in a fight: Strong Sad or the Cheat?

The Cheat.

45) ...this little piggy had roast beef. Is it wrong for a pig to eat beef?

it might be wrong for a pig to eat ham. but different forms of meat eat different forms of meat, right? we don't eat human, but we eat cow, pig, etc.

46) If you were going to have one of your body parts immortalized forever in plaster, what body part would you want it to be?

my hair.

47) If you had to name your child after a little debbie snack food, which one would it be?

gee. i don't know enough little debbie snack foods, and i'm too lazy to look it up.

48) Which do you use more often: the dictionary or the toilet?


49) Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?

the closest i've ever been to making a milkshake is whipping up ice cream with my fork until it turns into a more milkshake-like texture.

50) If you were a wind-up toy, what kind would you want to be?

a little drummer boy

51) Which car part do you find most erotic?

not a part, exactly, but just the idea of speeding down a straight highway can be exhilarating.

52) Which arcade game do you find most erotic?

heh. there's an arcade game in japan which involves putting your finger into a fake ass or something. no joke.

53) If you had to tattoo your genitals, what design would you use?

i dunno. i'd have to think about that one more.

54) If your computer could take care of one grooming duty for you, which would you want it to be?

trimming my moustache

55) What is a scrub?

a rookie.

56) If you had a wind up knob, what motion would it make you perform?

a wind up *knob*? isn't the only thing it could do is move around in a circle?

57) If you customized remote control, what features would it have and what would it work on?

i'd thought before about trying to wire a bunch of stuff in the house to my computer to control all features from it. If i knew a bit more about electronics, it'd be easy for me to do with my drum module - at least i *think* so.

58) If you could send a free hooker to someone's door, who would you sent it to, and how would they react?

george w. bush, with a photographer.

59) If horoscopes could predict bowel movements, would you read yours everyday?

nah. why?

60) If you were going to have a naked picture of you circulated all over the internet, would you want to be a front side or back side photo?

back side.

61) If you were going to talk about an embarassing moment on a talk show, what show would you want it to be?

space ghost coast to coast

62) Complete the sentence: mmm.... fresh _______


*Otters do not condone the molestation of penguins. This was a rhino question.

uh huh. we know the truth. :)


( read spoken (1) — speak )
Feb. 26th, 2004 02:04 pm (UTC)
9) that seems like sort of an obvious answer for you. as does the wind up drummer boy. :)

26) ralph! who doesn't know where that's from??

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( read spoken (1) — speak )


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