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mendel's going to bed now.

but he's going to write a quick entry first, coming down from being drunk. not really drunk anymore.


the more i stay here, the more i don't want to leave.

not because of oregon. not because of the dismal state of the economy or the general attitude towards education.

i hung out with two social groups today, both of which are very important to me. and the more i hang out with them, the more i just don't want to fucking leave. and there are two other social groups i have here that are important to me that i'm even leaving out.

a year ago... fuck, six *months* ago, i would have been ready to leave here and start over. i love being the rookie, meeting new people, creating new connections, starting from ground zero.

but fuck... i *love* the friends i have here. these DDR get togethers, the FMO concerts, the video gaming at K&Ls, Willamette...

beh. i know i have to say goodbye. but it just seems so... i dunno.

i just question whether or not i'm leaving for the right reasons. really, the only reason i'm leaving in january is for kim. that's not a *bad* reason. but it might not be the *right* one.

granted, by moving closer to kim, i put myself back in the circle of friends i used to have. all of my east coast guys that i might want to march with again in a senior corps circuit that really lacks out here.

but on the east coast - i dunno. i don't plan on stopping playing DDR, but it's just not going to be the same without Tyler, Jeff, Stephen, Angelo, Mer, Josh, Travis, Kevin, Eesha, Jason, Carl... etc. etc. etc.

whatever. i'm just down from the high of alcohol and fun times. i have to keep the perspective that leaving will indeed suck, but i'll never entirely lose the connections. LJ has proven that already, and it'll prove it again. and who knows? maybe i'll find another community that i'll fit in also. it won't hold a candle to Tyler, but it still won't be bad. at least i hope not.

anyway. it's 5am. time to sleep until i wake up. going to try to get up by noon or one so i can help tyler out with Standard. i might study the qualifiers on SM before i go over there. i'm certainly not going to play them until the actual tourney.

not that you'll read this, but i miss you. I hope your last day/night with Grant was a good one.


( read spoken (8) — speak )
May. 22nd, 2004 10:27 am (UTC)
No, I don't think we ever lose the truly important connections in our lives. Just remember that you have a great network no matter what part of the world you find yourself in.
May. 22nd, 2004 05:07 pm (UTC)
We don't want you to leave, either! But we realize you have to do what you need to! 'sides....you're never gonna get rid of me!!
May. 22nd, 2004 05:40 pm (UTC)
I had a lot of fun talking last night. The more I get to know you, the more I don't want you to leave either!
May. 23rd, 2004 03:40 am (UTC)
aww. you're sweet. :)
May. 22nd, 2004 06:05 pm (UTC)
thank you so much for coming by my party!!! that was incredibly awesome. i hope you had a good time! :p
May. 23rd, 2004 11:33 am (UTC)
Heh, talking to you in person is great. :> You are just one of those really awesome people, in a really good and different way. It's refreshing. I love you and I hope I can see you in the future or something. ^_^
May. 23rd, 2004 01:36 pm (UTC)
thanks, sweetie. :) it was awesome to see you too, even if you kicked my ass Yet Again in the tourney. ;)

i'll see you again soon.
May. 23rd, 2004 09:54 pm (UTC)
well, why dont you just come back east and bring everyone with you. You can never have enough cool people around.
( read spoken (8) — speak )


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March 2017