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recent thoughts by a friend.

i want to share this because i think it's fucking brilliant. the author shall remain anonymous to respect her privacy which she highly values.

begin quote:

The other day, someone said something to me about my neat little boxes. At this point, I can’t even remember how he started or finished that sentence, or if I even responded to it. But at the moment he said it I closed my eyes, put my head down on the pillow, and just let the words repeat through my internal silence, let them echo through the empty avenues of my mind: neat little boxes, neat little boxes, neat little boxes. . ..

He was right of course—I do like things in neat little boxes, and if I had my way each one of those boxes would sit on a perfectly stacked shelf with a lid and a label.

I tell myself that I’m just trying to make sense out of chaos, just trying to make each puzzle piece fit. I tell myself that every equation can be solved, and that each solution is both logical and natural.

The problem, of course, is that people do not fit between lines or within small spaces. They are arbitrary at best—sometimes wise and other times foolish. They contain an innate complexity that can be neither contained nor analyzed. They are instinctual and animalistic—only periodically constraining their internal chaos to better fit into polite society.

Each person I meet challenges my ideas on life, challenges the belief structure that I have unconsciously adhered to. Each person that I come into contact with, every inch of skin that I touch creates a sort of internal friction—perpetuates intellectual movement.

Others are as much of a part of who we are, as our own internal makeup—our most basic framework made out of blood and bone. Everyone that we know and we love becomes a part of our internal mapping, becomes inexplicably entwined in our hidden selves. Every being and every body that we have cherished becomes an unconscious checkpoint as we navigate throughout the rest our lives.

People are their own boxes, their own perfectly packaged selves. And one of these days I’ll be able to fully realize that—until then, please just bear with me.

end quote


the one thing i think i might change is the first sentence of the last paragraph because it's subject to misinterpretation. Saying that "people are their own boxes, their own perfectly packaged selves" seems to contradict the whole point of the entry even though i understand what she meant.

I think the problem is the use of the word "boxes" because while the shape of boxes may vary, boxes still have the expectation of looking something like... well... a box. It's true that people try to fit other people, concepts, emotions, events, etc. into neat little boxes or into formulas. "If he does this, it must be because of this." "If I feel this, it obviously should lead to that."

But life isn't and shouldn't be seen as that kind of formulaic. Chaos theory is a Reality. History and science can certainly predict hut never guarantee that a particular result will happen. To think of life as even an intangable and changeable "box" is too simple an analogy. Life is much more complex and beautiful to be seen in those sorts of concrete terms, and it's the attempt to place life in those sorts of concrete terms that causes a lot of problems.

*laughs* and that's really what she meant, and smart people like everyone on my friends list could understand that. I just thought i'd expand and ramble on it because i like the sound of my own voice.

anyway. Time to be productive.


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March 2017