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there's always a poker analogy somewhere.

i feel like i'm playing an open hand of hold'em, and the current hand looks like this:

the community right now is showing Ac 3h 4h 5h

i currently hold pocket aces. Ad and As.

opponent one holds 3c and 6s

opponent two holds 7d and Jh

opponent three holds 5c 5s

so as it stands right now, i'm winning the hand. i have the high 3 of a kind.

yet there are so many outs that could go against me. opp. one has 8 outs. opp. two has 11 outs. opp. three has 1 out.

essentially...about half of the deck would beat me.

and for some reason, time has slowed down even though my awareness is in real time. like that dexter's lab episode where he has the hat on that makes 60 seconds into 60 minutes. and with every second that passes, i start to feel more nervous.

i try to take measures to keep myself calm. deep breaths. basic meditation. a drag from a cigarette. but those distractions are temporary... all too soon, my mind is drawn back to the flipping of the river card, wondering, wishing... not daring to hope.

as more time passes and more pressure builds to the point where i'm not sure if i can handle it anymore, i realize that there's another answer. i don't have to wait for the river card to show. i can just concede the hand. fold and walk away. never look back and see how that last card would have played. never know whether or not i would have won or lost... *everything*. treasure what i have, cut my losses, take no risk.

and the more time that passes... the more appealing that option looks.


( read spoken (5) — speak )
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:51 am (UTC)

the mere gut twisting effect of not knowing would kill me. if there is a chance i can know, i find the temptation irresistible, even if it means terrible losses.
i am just like pandora, or 'the cat' from that parable..
Jan. 20th, 2005 10:29 am (UTC)
for a lot of situations, i'm the same way, but sometimes there are those situations that are just That Stressful that relieving the stress ends up being more important than the anxiety of not knowing.

doesn't happen that often, but it happens.
Jan. 20th, 2005 07:18 am (UTC)

You have come too far, been too patient, done too much to get where you are. Walking away now with that hand would be assanine. . . . .I know you know that. Beside you're not a quitter. . . . .wait it out, if the river card drops and you loose, at least you know you took a chance, stayed in the game and gave it your best shot!! Then you walk away with all your dignity and everything else. . . .you walk away YOU!

Love You!!!

*big hugs and smooches*

ps - cigarettes are really really icky!!!

Jan. 20th, 2005 10:21 am (UTC)
as i said in the vtext, it's not so much about folding in general as much as folding a particular hand. cutting my losses and trying a different table. sometimes the best play is to know when to fold.

and as for ciggies... you know how i feel about that. ;)
Jan. 20th, 2005 01:21 pm (UTC)
What she said. Especially about cigarettes.
( read spoken (5) — speak )


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