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saying goodbye.

this entry is deliberately public. the reasoning behind it being public is important, but it's only important to the people who will already know why it's important. for those that have no idea, it's not important at all, and you can disregard this entry entirely.

i do my best to see all sides of the situation and to try to be as fair and neutral as possible, but i have my limits, and i have my lines.

in the history of our interaction and even in what i may consider friendship, those lines have sometimes been tugged at, stretched, pulled. But never has that line of tolerance been broken.

until now.

it would be easier for you if i ignored it or i let it slide even to the point of passive aggressiveness. i could just take you off of my friends list and not address the issue and make you suspect, but to some degree wonder or maybe reason to yourself why or how the obvious isn't true.

But i have no desire to make this easy for you, to let you live with your actions without knowing what the consequences are. Rather, I have every intention of letting you know directly, bluntly, and publicly in a manner that leaves no question or doubt to you or anyone else just how ugly you really are. it's your choice whether you want to deny this in your own heart or not, and it's your choice whether or not you want to suppress it. i really don't care. but whatever you want to do with it, i give you this curse of knowledge:

what it is that you did, the line that you crossed - it's something that i will *never* forgive you for.

there has always been a part of me that has had sympathy for you. There were times when i felt like you would make a sincere attempt to try to be a more mature and better person, despite numerous examples to the contrary. i passed it off as coming from a background of misguidedness both in your peer environment and your home life.

but now, whatever sympathy and benefit of the doubt i had for you has dissipated. and it's never coming back.

know that in whatever interactions we have from this point forward, i will be civil and may even exude a surface friendliness, but on the inside, i don't care to know anything about you nor do i care to share anything about me with you.

and a part of me *wants* to say something like, "i really hope you figure it out some day because i'm certainly not going to help you out anymore." but i can't even make those words come out of my mouth with any degree of sincerity because honestly, i don't care.

well, that's not strictly true. i care about the people in your universe who will be casualties to your selfishness and self-serving nature if you decide not to change. But i don't care about you. and if i see any potential of someone being drawn in to your universe, you'd better be damned sure that i'll do my best to pull them out.

if you ever reach a point where you start consistently caring about other people more than yourself, don't tell me about it because i won't believe you. maybe if i hear enough from people i trust to be able to believe it after a year or more of constant evidence, i'll be more open and receptive to you again, and maybe... *maybe* we can start to rebuild that trust.

until then?...

game over. and you've run out of continues. go play somewhere else.


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March 2017