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I suppose it's natural for life transitions to happen at the end of an academic school year. For some reason it's never consciously occured to me before even though i know it's happened to me before.

It's worthy of mention because it seems like suddenly a bunch of people i know are going throguh serious life transitions or at least some measure of self-discovery. Kels, Leslie, Kate, Ken, Mark, Peggy, Kurt... even Me. Some of those transitions are rocky roads right now, but i get this sense that all of the journeys are leading towards somewhere that's ultimately better, and although it can be energy-draining, it feels nice to be either a direct part or a friendly observer/supporter of those transitions.

And now that I think about it more, it makes sense that I answered question 4 of this interview the way I did., because it seems like most people closer to my age or older feel like they've already discovered themselves, and they put on this image of stability, whether real or imagined. And I think that it feels great at first, but after a while it feels stagnant.

I think that that stagnancy makes people want to recapture that feeling of discovery and learning in their life, which explains why people decide to go back to school (to be in that discovery environment) or why people have kids (to live the rediscovery through their kids' lives), or other things.

This past friday and tuesday, i went to high school graduation ceremonies to see some of my band students graduate, and a few of them and their parents said, "it's so cool that you come to these things." My response, while varied, generally fell in the realm of, "you guys are my students, my children, and my friends." I mean, of course i'm going to be there. I like to be able to participate in people's joy, help people through their pain... because i care about them. I care about people in general. I put forth a lot of energy in an effort to help people discover themselves and to accept themselves just because i care about them.

When looking at that part of myself, it may not make sense that i'm paranoid about hurting people and driving them away, but to me it almost makes more sense because i care so much about so many people that I can't care enough about one. Or take the time to care about myself.

I think.


( read spoken (2) — speak )
Jun. 14th, 2003 01:54 am (UTC)
Thanks for everything sweetie.
Without you I probably wouldn't have found the guts to do it. I owe ya one ;)
Jun. 14th, 2003 08:51 am (UTC)
*warm smile*

nah, you don't owe me nothin'. it's my pleasure.
( read spoken (2) — speak )


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March 2017