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family.

about a month ago, i hadn't planned on coming back to philly, but i opted to do it this year because my brother was coming back to philly also. the last time that my immediately family were all housed in one room in the PA area was probably 1995.

last year over the holidays, i ended up getting into a discussion with eric and jed during a drive home about change in people's lives. I brought it up because when i was hanging out with all of those people at liz's and kevin's, it didn't seem like a whole lot had changed in their personalities since the 15 years that i had last seen them, and that was very counterintuitive for me given how much i had known that i had changed a great deal. So i asked very directly what had changed and what it brought out was that although both of them had gone through some very significant life changes, some of the fundamental personality and how they portray them on the surface hasn't changed that much.

that conversation came back to me during this trip as it regards my family because when i think about the individual experiences that we had, it didn't seem like anything had changed at all. My dad is still very quiet, my mom is still very talkative and somewhat fussy, my brother and i talked and shared a lot about interesting video games or interesting Things in general. Same old same old, as if no time had gone by.

But beneath the surface of it all, i think a lot *has* changed for all of us as individuals and as a family, and it's pretty... neat? it's hard to describe because i think our family dynamic is pretty unique. given how little we've seen each other and how little we talk to each other about anything Important, you wouldn't think that we're a close family, but if you go beneath the surface, i think we are. I care pretty deeply about my family and i'm certain that the same is true all around.

i think a lot of it has to do with acceptance, something that i give my parents a lot of credit for. Forget the fact that my parents didn't like it when i had said i wanted to go into music or are very skeptical about poker and let me find my own path anyway; they went above and beyond expectation by not batting an eye when my brother came out when i was in high school, and just a few days ago knowing that he is in a poly relationship with three (and soon to be four) guys, they said 'why don't you bring them around next christmas?'. That's the sort of parents they are and the sort of family that we are.

the sentimental side of me thus places a special sort of significance to us all being here this past week even though it didn't seem like anything in particular happened, especially since it's questionable whether or not something like this will happen again in the next couple of years. and resultingly, as i was uploading pictures of my trip to philly so far onto fb, one particular picture became my clear favorite, one that captures that sort of sentimentality in my mind and something that i'll always associate with the odd but close relationship that i feel we all have.

pretty fucking awesome.

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Comments

( read spoken (2) — speak )
edrake
Dec. 23rd, 2009 11:52 pm (UTC)
despite not knowing them personally, i really like your family.
kalia_prophet
Dec. 27th, 2009 03:44 am (UTC)
I understand the sentiment.
( read spoken (2) — speak )

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