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i never wrote about the wedding.

so last weekend, Mark and Amanda got married. the important days were thursday and friday, so that's what i'm going to track.

it was maybe a week before when the three of us finished writing our independent parts of the ceremony. I wrote the opening welcome and smoothed out one the transitions, Amanda wrote the shared vows and the rest of the transitions, and Mark wrote his vows.

With that script in hand, we had our wedding rehearsal on thursday late afternoon. It was a pretty straightforward process as the ceremony was a short affair. After ironing out one or two kinks, we ran the ceremony logistics twice and then went to the rehearsal dinner.

Rehearsal dinner was held in audubon park. It was good fun, but it was also pretty damned hot that evening. Amanda's friend and coworker Nate catered the event and did a kickass job. He's a genius with food. It consisted of a large salad as well as various other appetizers (homemade hummus, small spinach croissant things that were awesome, a few other things) followed by the main course of these beef kabobs that tasted amazing with some sort of pasta, and then he whipped up some strawberry shortcake for dessert. Another of Amanda's friends made a homebrew beer for the occasion (which he was unfortunately not present for as he and his wife just moved to portland for a new job) which was a stout-like beer but mixed with whiskey. It was *quite* good.

After hanging out at the park for a couple of hours they did gifts. The gift i got is pretty great; it's a large hand-stamped silver coin that was minted in lille, france in 1736. Mark got it for me to use as a card protector for poker (and as an aside, my first use of it at the casino last week was a good debut for it, i made $1500, my largest take in a single session), and it kicks ass, especially because it's hand-stamped so it has all of these imperfections to it.

After that, i was pretty beat even though it was early because i hadn't slept a whole lot the past few days, so i went home and vegged out by playing prolific and watching the scoreboard of the lakers/celtics game go by via the web. Fell asleep pretty soon after.

--

Friday was the wedding itself. In the morning the US vs. Slovenia World Cup game was on, so i went over to Mark's to watch that to see an amazing comeback and then a robbed goal. After that, i have a fuzzy memory of generally being low-key. i took care of some emails both personal and business, then mark and i went to a late lunch where he didn't eat a whole lot because his stomach was all over the place. After that, i'm pretty sure i took a small nap, then i took a long shower, then i did some meditative sort of ironing of the stuff i was going to wear at the ceremony, i rehearsed the ceremony a few times out loud just to make sure that i felt comfortable with the flow, and then i had a brief wait before we needed to go to the venue.

Mark called me up and told me that he and reid were having a drink before heading over, so i went over and had a drink with them. I think Reid was surprised that i was sporting all black because he doesn't know me very well, but it was only a brief thing in his eyes before he was back to normal. We headed out to the venue and i helped Mark take care of some of the small details (band needed an extension cord, holding on to the marriage papers, &c).

The ceremony itself went very smoothly and was short and sweet. I wasn't at all nervous leading up to the actual speaking - a few people asked me how i was feeling and my response was "excited". It made me extremely happy to be the conduit for Mark and Amanda's union, something that i expressed in a very Mendel Way in my welcome. Once i was actually speaking, a little bit of nervousness got in me and i stumbled *ever* so slightly over a couple of words, but i know for sure that i projected and that i didn't rush my words, and i felt very calm. I remember thinking at the time that it really did feel like i was a conduit because the energy that Mark and Amanda were portraying was a very intimate one; i know for Mark that he deliberately wasn't thinking about the audience at all because he would have further fallen apart if he did, and that's really what i was there for, to let them keep their sense of isolated intimacy whilst amplifying that energy outward and guide it for the sake of those that wanted to share that experience, and i think that i pulled that off very successfully in addition to helping guide the overall flow.

In fact, come to think of it, it felt very similar to being a music conductor, or at least the kind of music conductor i am. When i conduct music, i see myself as a conduit and a guide, someone who helps convey a momentum that already exists on the page or in the performance rather than someone who propels it and directly points that energy one place or another. In that sense, the effect that i have on the music should be apparent while i myself am invisible. The marriage ceremony felt exactly like that, and that's probably one of the big reasons why it felt so natural.

After the ceremony finished i got a lot of compliments about how i did and how the service overall was, and a lot of people first asked me if i had ever done it before with the idea in their head that i had, and second told me that i had a potential second career. i accepted the compliments gracefully and all, but in my head i was thinking, "all i really did was read a script." in retrospect i understand that it was more than that, but the only reason it was more than that was because of how much i know mark and amanda and was able to instinctually understand how best to serve them because of that knowledge. i doubt that it's something i could do for Just Anyone, although it's certainly something i'd be willing to do again for someone else i cared about.

Dinner was catered by the restaurant Cochon, and involved, well, a big pig. It was roasted over a spit and then laid out and served in pieces along with other stuff in a buffet style. This was one of the ways in which the venue wasn't quite suited to the purpose because there was only one entrance to the room and a line formed outside of it, and once you got your food you had to exit out of the same place where people were standing in line which was pretty long since there was a person who was serving the cochon resulting in a small bottleneck. That was a pretty small detail, however, and the food was definitely worth it.

Food and drinks were in the courtyard in the back where as the evening went on it actually got hotter as opposed to cooler, so i spent most of it sitting around, drinking, chatting. Mark hired his old band to play, and it unfortunately caused an issue with a neighbor who said that we were being too loud and started to complain. Mark had gotten assurances from the venue owner that he was good up until 23:00 and she started to raise issue about two hours before that. It was unfortunate, but Mark did what i would have done, which was, "take it up with the owner. he told me i was good until 11. call the cops if you want to. i'm not dealing with it."

right around 23:00 everyone was handed sparklers and we lit them up to give Mark and Amanda a pathway to walk down. We all went home and got changed, then headed out to the quarter, specifically La Fittes which is secondly the oldest standing bar in the US (predating our colonization of this country), but firstly the bar where Mark proposed to Amanda a year and a half prior. We drank and hung out until they kicked us out at 4am, and then i came home and crashed.

unfortunately my camera is broken and i haven't bought a replacement yet, so i didn't take any pictures. Other people did and they're slowly going up on facebook; once those trickle in more, particularly any that Mark and Amanda are privy to once they get back from their honeymoon, i'll snag them and post them/email them separately to those that are interested that aren't on fb.

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Comments

( read spoken (2) — speak )
roguish_ink
Jun. 25th, 2010 11:00 am (UTC)
Sounds fantastic :)
edrake
Jun. 28th, 2010 04:36 pm (UTC)
yay. <3
( read spoken (2) — speak )

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